Benjamin,
Thanks for the link to that message. I watched it but I am not sure what it did for me. Since I last wrote in, I have completley stopped what I was doing that I knew was wrong. I didn't stop because I felt guilty; rather, I stopped because I had knowledge that it was wrong. I don't understand why I am not feeling guilty, hurt, depressed, mad at myself, etc. It's like nothing ever happened when I know it did.
I have never felt this way before. It was always my conviction and guilt and remorse for wrong that made me leave the past and get back into a relationship with God. Now I feel so below even the worst sinner that I can't even think of coming back. I don't see how I could be accepted back again. Not when I willingly left him. I have gone through the steps so many times and I really meant it. But over time it seems I got stagnent and little by little it just came up again. And I would get involved and then be sorry and repent. It's like this has happened at least four times and I am even ashamed to think that I would even think of trying over again when it's almost inevitable that I will mess up again. I don't want to. I want Christ to be the center of my life and live for nothing but him... I am missing something that makes my committment so strong that I would never be tempted by my past sins again. I am so confused and bothered and don't know what to do or where to start.
Thanks for taking time out of your day to read this.
Not Fred
Friday, May 2, 2008
Re: Your visit to HELPinChrist.com
This young man wrote in to HELPinChrist.com rather distraught over the belief that he is unsavable because he continues to sin... How would you have responded?
On May 1, 2008, at 10:10 AM, Not Fred wrote:
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And then I replied...
Dear Not Fred:
Your message has me intrigued... First off, that message was supposed to help you see the importance of self-examination, which, by the words of your response, it seems that you already have... Next, I want to assure you that if you have stopped doing what you knew was wrong on your own power, by your own will - then you've stopped nothing... As you've already admitted, the next time you're tempted, you're sure to fail again, and I have to agree with you there if for no other reason than my own personal experience and the Bible tells me so... (Proverbs 26:11) Now the question in front of you is... Are you a wise person who simply needs to submit completely to God - or are you a "fool"?
Understand as we begin that I am not judging you in any way that I would consider to be arrogant - I have no right, and I am undoubtedly, a bigger filthy sinner than you ever could hope to be. Not that anyone would hope to be a big sinner... Anyway, what I'm saying is this: no matter what I tell you in these emails, the content is going to be coming primarily from the Bible because frankly, my opinion is not worth anything in eternity, whereas God's Word will prevail forever - so let's go with the information that will last, because that's information that will truly help you in your predicament... Therefore, if the things I write tend to sting or hurt a bit when you read them, believe that I'm only telling you the truth, and that I will ALWAYS encourage you to check what I'm sharing with you against the Bible so that you'll know the information is sound...
Now then... Because I cannot see your heart, although I CAN see some of the fruit you're bearing, it's difficult to tell whether you are truly a Christian who is just having some doubts, or a false convert (as I was for over 12 years) who simply needs to repent once and for all, and truly trust in Christ and believe what the Bible says... You've asked if you're missing something - and again, I feel that I should agree with you. It seems as though you either haven't read that if you have repented of your sins and put your faith in Christ, that Christ's sacrifice on the Cross has blotted out all of your sins; past, present and future... (Hebrews 9:12, 24-26) or you just don't believe it...
It is clear that your conscience is tender - you know what you are doing is wrong... If you don't feel guilty after you've committed a sin, it may be because you are a Christian, and when you were converted God took your guilt and placed it upon Christ... As a believer, you have been given a new heart with new desires according to the Bible... The Bible also says that when we follow Him, we will begin to love the things God loves, and hate the things God hates... Again, it appears to me that you know the difference, you simply are not embracing your salvation and living accordingly.
You are SUPPOSED to feel low and wretched - consider again, the Apostle Paul, who said that he was the "Chief of Sinners" and it's difficult to argue with him because he previously held legal paperwork that gave him permission to kill those who followed and believed in this Jesus character the Pharisees hated so much that they murdered Him... He also said that it was God's Law that showed him the sinfulness of his sins - which is what I hope you are considering while you are examining yourself...
When you mention that you cannot even think of coming back, or how you could be accepted again... Let's break this down... "[You] cannot even think of coming back is just an expression - if you don't feel worthy - not to worry - you're not... None of us are - we ALL deserve God's wrath and punishment, and our own place in Hell because of our disobedience against Him through the breaking of His Law... When you say that you "don't see how [you] could be accepted back again" because you "willingly left Him." Rest assured, if you left, you were never there in the first place, and if that's the case, He never accepted you either - which is why today is the day of salvation for you if God is preparing your heart... (1 John 2:19 - 2 Corinthians 6:2)
Now we're at the point where I ask you:
1. When the last time was that you read your Bible
2. How often do you read it
3. How often do you pray
4. When was the last time you intentionally went out of your way to share your faith with a stranger
5. How often do you attend church services
6. Are you a member there?
Please answer those questions and we'll have a whole separate email to fill up with conversation about what the Bible says you need to do...
Here's some nitty gritty "I'm going to tell you what you should do" dialogue comin' straight at you... 'Course, it's from God, not me... The NEXT time this temptation comes around, instead of "messing up again"... FLEE!!! Get out of there - don't stay for even a second to determine if what you think is happening is actually happening... Move your feet and go somewhere else, do something else... One sure way to ensure that you won't mess up again is to stay away from the temptation... The Bible says, "Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you..." I can tell you without a doubt that this verse is true.
You want Christ to be the center of your life a live for nothing but him... It seems to me that God has been working on your heart, and has given you the opportunity... Understand that He will resist the proud heart, but give grace to the humble heart. You come off as pretty humble to me - just unbelieving...
So let me ask you a question - what would you think of me if I'd have started off this email with "Dear Fred"? You'd probably think I was responding to someone else's message at first - so you'd send me a message back letting me know that I'd made a mistake... HOWEVER, what if I wrote back and assured you that there was no mistake, you're Fred, and this message is for you... Perhaps you'd be a little annoyed at this point - so you'd write back and tell me that I was wrong, your name isn't Fred. To which I would respond, "Dear Fred Please understand that I'm not trying to offend you, it's just that this is your name, and that's why I'm using it..."
Pretty absurd scenario, huh? But what does it mean if I continually refer to you as Fred? Simply that I don't believe you when you insist that your name ISN'T Fred, it's Not Fred... When I call you Fred it means that I think you're lying to me... SO... When we go on sinning, we are calling God a liar, and how much MORE angry should God be when we do not believe His Word that tells us to walk righteously...
Almost done now... Jesus didn't promise you a perfect life... He promised you a "full" life... (John 10:10) He didn't promise you riches or prosperity... He gives you your daily bread... (Matthew 5:45) In fact, Jesus only promises those who follow Him four things... Persecution... (John 15:20) Tribulation... (Matthew 24:9) Temptation... (Luke 22:40) and Eternal Life... (John 10:26-28) Temptation isn't really a promise I suppose, but Jesus was quite adamant about the danger of temptation...
Read Psalm 1 - determine for yourself... Are you the person described in the first half of the Chapter, or the second half?
The last thing I can suggest that you do is to do what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 13:5 - examine yourself - see if you are truly a Christian who simply needs his faith strengthened, or if you are a pagan who needs to get this settled once and for all... Because it is clear that you want to follow Christ - why don't you believe, why don't you trust? That part is between you and God to figure out once and for all... And I'm not throwing a cliche at you - I'm being honest...
LISTEN TO THIS... Go 15 minutes and 30 seconds in to the mp3 file... Does this letter sound anything like where you're coming from?
I'm going to be praying for you - that God would reveal Himself to you through His Word - I firmly believe that's the only way you are going to be changed... Bottom line...
Consider His promises... and your response...
-Benjamin
Posted by Benjamin - The Sower @ 5/02/2008 12:50:00 AM
Words of Wisdom Bible, Christians, Corinthians, Evangelism, God, Gospel of John, Hebrews, HELPinChrist.com, Jesus, Non-Believers, Repent, Righteousness, Sin
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