1-2-1 Witnessing - Online...

Earlier today, we received an email at HELPinChrist.com and a young man, we'll call him "Fred" asked for help kicking his Internet Porn "habit." Now, because the Bible refers to it as "lust" and lust as "sin" then we prefer to call his "addiction" a lifestyle of sin.

For the record, when we counsel, we don't make assumptions or judgments about people before we talk with them, we merely use the Bible and the information they share with us in order to help them get the help they're looking for.  Some people respond more favorably than others - and I've got to tell you, this particular young man went through the conversation the way I wish everyone would...

First is his message - and after is our conversation...

What do you need help with?

I am a christian I was molested as a child by my brother in law and now i am 20 going on 21 and addicted to gay porn just internet porn and I can not seem to stop looking at it please help.

Now, before you read the conversation, I want to point out to you that not everyone who refers to themselves as "Christian" truly is one... One of the first clues is when a person is living in unrepentant sin - another clue is when the person cannot clearly, or Biblically explain the Gospel. 

And when you expect that a person may not be saved, it's never a bad idea to ask a couple of questions to find out if your suspicions might be accurate - after all, it's a matter of life or death... An eternal matter.

Me: You wrote in to HELPinChrist.com?

Fred: yeh

Me: You mentioned that you are a Christian?

Fred: yes

Me: and now you're addicted to internet porn?

Fred: yeg

Me: okay, can you share with me how/when you "got saved"?

Fred: yeh sure i got saved when i was 10 years old i was in church and i listened to a sermon and went forward

Me: so how is a person saved?

Fred: by asking Jesus christ into their heart and by receiving his forgiveness for their sins because of what he did on the cross

Me: and where in the Bible does it say that we are supposed to "ask Jesus into our heart"?

Fred: i am not sure of the place that it says that 

Me: I ask, because I've read the Bible, and I've never found that anywhere in there - though I've heard it a LOT...

Me: okay then, what is sin?

Fred: anything that comes between you and God and something that you do such as adultery disobeying God and other things

Me: okay, adultery is sin, what else?

Fred: Homosexuality lust disobeying your parents 

Me: well adultery, homosexuality, lust would all be covered under the same category of sexual sin, and disobeying your parents is sin as well, so there's two sins, is there anything else that is sin?

Me: what if you murder someone?

Fred: thats a sin

Me: right, and do you know that Jesus said that if you hate someone, that's considered by God to be the same as murder in your heart?

Fred: yes

Me: what about stealing?

Fred: its a sin

Me: what about lying?

Fred: lying is a sin

Me: blasphemy?

Fred: sin

Me: coveting?

Fred: sin

Me: idolatry?

Fred: they are all sins

Me: would you say that you've committed those sins?

Fred: yes some of them i have

Me: which ones have you not broken?

Fred: i have never stolen anything

Me: seriously? You've never downloaded a song you didn't pay for? or a put a photo on a site that you didn't take yourself? You've never cheated on a test or taken 20 minutes when you were only given a 15 minute break?

Me: You've never taken ANYTHING that wasn't yours, regardless of it's value?

Fred: ok i have cheated on test and downloaded a few songs i was not thinking of those things

Me: I understand - and most people don't - and here is why I've been asking you these questions...

Me: You see, the Bible says that "the Lord has set a day when He will judge the world in righteousness - it is appointed unto every man once to die, and then the judgment..."

Fred: yes

Me: Those sins we were talking about are based upon the 10 Commandments, and we only talked about 7 of the 10, and you said that you'd broken most of them, and it turned out that you'd broken all 7 - and if we looked at the remaining 3 - I'm sure we'd find out that you've broken those too...

Fred: ok

Me: Now, IF you were to die tonight in your sleep, and God were to judge you according to those Commandments, do you think He'd find you innocent or guilty?

Fred: guilty 

Me: And IF He found you guilty, do you think He'd send you to Heaven or hell?

Fred: hell

Me: and does it concern you that He would be justified in sending you to hell if you were to die unexpectedly?

Fred: yes 

Fred: and i would rightly deserve it

Me: and do you know what God did so that you don't have to go to hell?

Fred: He sent Jesus to die on the cross for my sins 

Me: Right, God came to Earth, in the form of a man, lived a sinless life, and gave up His life to die on the cross and take your place of punishment...

Fred: yeh

Me: For God so loved the world that He gave His only son so that whoever would believe, would not perish, but have everlasting life...

Fred: I like that verse 

Me: and now, taking into account the FACT that the passage "ask Jesus into your heart" is nowhere in the Bible. Do you know what you need to do in order to receive His gift of everlasting life?

Fred: Yes i need to believe that Jesus sent his only son to die in place of my sins

Me: that's not what the Bible says...

Me: You see, there are MANY people who believe that, who are not going to heaven when they die...

Fred: ok

Me: it's like if you were on a plane, and you had to jump - you cannot just believe in the parachute, you have to put it on in order for the parachute to save your life...

Fred: then what do i have to do? 

Me: The Bible says the same thing - we are supposed to put on the Lord Jesus Christ...   Romans 13:14 (AMP)

Fred: yeh i understand that

Fred: and how do we do that?

Me: through Repentance toward God, and Faith in Christ... here's how...

Me: we don't simply ask for forgiveness of our sins... that wouldn't work in a court of law...

Me: Uh, your honor, please forgive me of my crimes, I'll try not to do them again...

Me: The judge would say, you SHOULD be sorry, and you SHOULDN'T do it again, but the find STILL needs to be paid...

Fred: yeh absolutely

Me: We need to consider EVERY TIME we've broken His laws - and in your case, perhaps the pornography is a big one, but it's not the sum total...

Fred: yeh

Me: and understand that every time you broke one of the laws that God gave for us to follow, you have stored up wrath, as the Apostle Paul said, that will be revealed to you in the Day of Wrath...  Romans 2:5-9 (NKJ)

Fred: ok i understand that

Me: and turn away from those sins - the pornography first and foremost - and ask God to give you the power to resist the temptation... And He's promised that He will...

Me: The Bible says that when you cry out to Him for forgiveness of all of your sins (REPENT) and turn to Christ in faith, He will give you a new heart with new desires... He will bring you from darkness into light...

Fred: so we need to repent and turn away from our sins to be saved 

Me: and put your faith in Christ alone for your salvation...

Fred: ok

Me: You cannot go to church enough times... you cannot give enough money to hungry children... you cannot help enough little old ladies across the street... You broke God's Law, and Christ paid your fine... We are saved by grace through faith in Christ...   Ephesians 2:8-9 (NKJ) 

Fred: yeh but dont we all sin?? even after we are saved?

Me: Yes we do...  BUT...  check this out...  that new heart with new desires I was talking about - that the Bible refers to...

Me: God will cause you to walk in righteousness, and not in sin...

Me: Though you may sin from time to time, you might fall into it, but you won't dive into it...   Romans 6:12-18 (NKJ)

Me: For example...  On a personal note, I do not lie the way I used to...  or steal for that matter...  My sins of debauchery over internet porn - by God's power - are all gone...

Fred: so if i repent and turn my back on my sin God will give me the power to resist temptation and not sin

Me: yes - and though temptation will still be there, by His power, you'll be able to resist it...

Fred: ok 

Me: And if it happens that you would sin, you'll hate the fact that you've done it, and ask God to forgive you, and help you to stay away from it ever happening again...

Me: The Bible says that when you are converted, you'll begin to hate what God hates... (sin, wickedness) and love what God loves... (righteousness, justice, truth)

Me: I've been where you are at, though I was never molested, I was deep into internet porn before I was saved...  At the time, I thought I was a Christian, however, I had never repented, and I definitely wasn't trusting in Christ for my salvation...  I thought that my good deeds had outweighed my bad, and that God would accept me into heaven based on that fact...

Me: But the Fact is, NONE OF US is Good enough to get into heaven...

Fred: so u never turned your back on your sin and trust in Christ for you salvation and taht is why u kept falling back into those sins

Me: falling back? I never got out in the first place...

Me: BUT...  When I finally repented once and for all - that's when I was able by God's power to resist the temptation to go back...

Fred: I understand that was just a word taht i used i should have used another word 

Me: It's cool, I understood where you were going with it...

Fred: yeh

Me: DO you have a Bible?

Fred: actually i got a bible program i can use on my computer

Me: when was the last time you read it?

Fred: i start to read it but then i quit so its been on and over i read a lil of it the other day

Fred: off

Fred: I should read my bible more than I do

Me: k., then let me do something for you...

Me: I'm sending you an email message...

Me: It's going to have a reading list...

Fred: alright

Me: several parts of the Bible I want you to check out before you go to bed tonight... ...I'm going to give you about an hour's worth of reading, and I'll be sending along other bits of info that'll help you out with resources that you'll be able to search...

Me: But now the big question comes...

Me: well two actually.

Me: what do you need to do to get right with God?

Fred: Repent and trust God for my salvation 

Me: and the second question, when are you going to do that?

Fred: Tonight im going to repent and trust him...

The conversation took about an hour, and I sincerely pray that he answered the call that God was placing on his conscience.  I have not posted this for anything less than God's glory... That some might be encouraged, that others might be instructed, and still others might find hope for their own situation. Like John the Baptist, my desire is that Christ is glorified, and that I am not.

Be encouraged fellow sowers!

-Benjamin